Dad withdraws 15-year-old daughter from competitive gymnastics against her mom's wishes because she doesn't want to be in the gym 14 hours a week and her body hurts: 'She thinks my daughter will be become lazy and want to hang out with friends'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 28, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

There's nothing worse than not being able to quit something that you strongly dislike doing. There's undoubtedly a chasm between quitting things the second you start to dislike them and forcing yourself to finish everything you complete, no matter how miserable it makes you. When I was in 5th grade, I wanted to quit my after-school choir because it was way less fun than choir was in the 4th grade. But my mom made me finish it because I didn't tell her how over it I was until well into the school year. I'm sure if I had hated it from week one and asked her to quit then, she would've let me, but she made me finish, and I appreciate her for that. Every situation is different, and while it's generally good for parents to train their kids to finish what they started, there must be a limit.

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  • The dad who posted this story is trying to do what's best for his daughter. She's a sophomore in high school, a high-achieving student, and wants to quit doing competitive gymnastics more than anything. She has lost her passion for the sport, is sick of being in the gym 14 hours a week, and her body hurts from the constant training. That last reason alone should be enough for both of her parents to let her quit, but her mom is not budging.

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    via leah hetteberg

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    WIBTA if I withdrew my daughter from sports against my wife’s wishes.

    My daughter (15f) is a competitive gymnast. Her team travels all over the country to compete. She is a sophomore in High school and wants to stop competing because her body hurts, she is at the gym
    via u/Business_Bat_4962
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    14 hours a week, she lacks the drive and passion for the sport and she wants to do more high school things and concentrate on her studies. She is a honor roll student and takes AP classes in sophomore year.
    via u/Business_Bat_4962
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    (A+ que les diferencias por que juegan al futbol, pero no se aprecian diferencias son significativas en idad fisica pestran juegan al o no os prad, y aunque el tamaño del efecto es pequeño, la agresividad fisica que los hombres. Los resultados de lage de estudios previos con población general que que las majmes (Alandette y Hoyos, 2009, Pelegrin, 2001; S. mujeres se muestran más agresivas que los hombres en pose que les dificultades que tradicionalmente la sociedad ha in som jugadoras de futbol
    via Andy Quezada (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My wife (43f) is against it because my daughter's season just started and she made a commitment to the team and she should see it through. We also spent $1,800 this summer on camps and sessions to help her get better. She thinks my daughter will be become lazy and want to hang out with friends and her chores and school work will suffer.
    via u/Business_Bat_4962
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    I (43m)understand my wife's point about the commitment to the team and the money. I also understand my daughters point about being sore as I used to be weightlifter and wanting to be more active in high school. I am
    via u/Business_Bat_4962
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    Cheezburger Image 10499637248
    via Victor Freitas

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    trying to find middle ground but I don't think it exists. My gut is to protect my daughter and withdraw her but I know it will put me in the dog house big time. I feel stuck between a rock and hard place.
    via u/Business_Bat_4962
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    [deleted] NTA My daughter (15f) is a competitive gymnast. Her team travels all over the country to compete. She is a sophomore in High school and wants to stop competing because her body hurts, she is at the gym 14 hours a week, she lacks the drive and passion for the sport and she wants to do more high school things and concentrate on her studies. She is a honor roll student and takes AP classes in sophomore year. Your daughter no longer has a passion for gymnastics and wants to prepare for her
    via u/[deleted]
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    My wife (43f) is against it because my daughter's season just started and she made a commitment to the team and she should see it through. We also spent $1,800 this summer on camps and sessions to help her get better. She thinks my daughter will be become lazy and want to hang out with friends and her chores and school work will suffer. Your wife's forcing your daughter to stay in gymnastics is going to hurt their relationship. Is there any reason why your wife believes your daughter will start
    via u/[deleted]
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    My gut is to protect my daughter and withdraw her but I know it will put me in the dog house big time. I feel stuck between a rock and hard place. Trust your gut - your wife probably has good intentions, but your daughter's wishes need to come into play. 15 is old enough to have input on what sports/activities she does. Sorry about what will probably be an extended stay in the dog house.
    via u/[deleted]
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    Alternative_Dot_1026 And hanging around with friends is a good thing because it builds connections, friendships, battles loneliness and depre s'on etc. It builds the necessary social skills that you need in adult life
    via u/Alternative_Dot_1026
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    yourlittlebirdie Exactly. She's a teenager. She's supposed to hang out with friends.
    via u/yourlittlebirdie
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    MedChemist464 I have to use basic social skills at my job every day. I have not needed to do the Pommel horse ONCE.
    via u/MedChemist464
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    [deleted] Also wanted to hop on and add something! Daughter can do school sports. And, I just have to note, being a former gymnast for so many years, especially with that much time in the gym, she's already one of the most athletically capable athletes in their entire region. Ballet and gymnastics are the 2 backgrounds you can have that will put you at the top of every other sport you try thereafter. His daughter is already stronger, more balanced, agile, spatially aware, and flexible than most
    via u/[deleted]
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    friend quit gymnastics in middle school because of this. Once she realized she probably wasn't going to the Olympics (and got to the point where you either move to Texas and get homeschooled so you can get to the elite level, or simply never get to the elite level), she wanted to try other sports. She dominated in every sport. Field hockey, volleyball, basketball, soccer. I did ballet for several years, and same thing. Quit in middle school to pursue other sports and absolutely dominated.
    via u/[deleted]
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    DisplacedNY One of the best divers I knew in high school was a former gymnast!
    via u/DisplacedNY
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    PitifulGazelle8177 I totally get the commitment thing because kids needs to learn that some things you cant just quit. But she is targeting the wrong area because her daughter's reasons are "Im in PAIN" and I have to say that one is a REALLY GOOD REASON to quit
    via u/PitifulGazelle8177
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    realshockvaluecola This for sure. If a gymnast is in pain, that can be a warning sign that shouldn't be ignored. A split you in second can permanently gymnastics, and it's hard enough on your body that a lot of young competitive gymnasts simply grow in a way that removes them from the sport - - if you get too tall or develop the wrong curves it can become physically (in the sense of "the laws of physics") impossible to perform certain required stunts safely.
    via u/realshockvaluecola
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    quick justice You can just quit anything. That's something you'd rather teach your kids. You can exit anything. Job, town, country, relationships, religion, even family. Just like that. You just need to understand and own the consequences and act consciously. And what consequences are here in case of the kid quitting sport? Big fat nothing.
    via u/quick_justice
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    Spanky-Ham77 As a former international gymnastics coach, the vast majority of female gymnasts finish up at 14- 16, to basically have more of a life
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    Trance354 Wife is living her dream vicariously through daughter's gymnastics. Doghouse doesn't start, but your daughter will come visit regularly. Obligatory nta
    via u/Trance354
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    talkativeintrovert 13 I wish I was allowed to quit when I was younger. Not gymnastics, but other sport thar kept me away on weekends all summer and part of fall/winter. It only ended when my parents split and priorities shifted due to abitur. I still was active, not as before, though. Running, swimming in the winter, inliner skating Why not compromise on another sport? Running groups, gym, swimming? Something she can do twice a week or so and on her time while keeping up with school, friends and
    via u/talkativeintrovert13
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    Lisbei ΝΤΑ Also, listen to your daughter. Her reasons for wanting to stop the sport are valid. Forget about the money, that's gone. And about her behaviour, I'm kind of shocked that your wife doesn't believe in her own daughter - really, an honor roll AP student isn't going to change overnight. It sounds like your wife is one of those dance moms, only for gymnastics.
    via u/Lisbei
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    Just reread - logically, at the start of the season is the second best time to pull out of the team (the best time would be at the end of the previous one). Also, your wife says daughter made a commitment to the team? So she cares more about the team than her own daughter? Wow.
    via u/Lisbei

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family drama teenager teenage teenagers raising teens family sports gymnast gymnastics bad parenting parenting dad high school mom Parenting Fail parents
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